Asexual Discrimination

Even when you know that nothing is wrong with you, it can be really, really hard sometimes to deal with harsh words from others.

Picture is not mine and I don´t know who the original author is. If I find out I will add proper credits. I just wanted to share it.
Some of the words may not seem that harsh, but coming from someone close to you, they can really be hurtfull (even when those people probably didn´t mean to hurt you).

9 Struggles Of Wearing All Black

I would never think, that I would find a BuzzFeed video so accurate, that I would want to share it. But this, this is just on point.

I´m probably not the only one who knows this struggles (and more) just too well. But it´s always worth it!

A sexual life

Short but well made video. Some parts felt like they are about me. 

Pink...ish (Photos)

First photos that were taken right after I came back from the hairdressers with new color.
Although I wanted purple at first, I fell in love with this pinkish red color and I even wanted to go more pink. I´m not a big fan of pink, but that goes mostly for clothing and that kid of things. Pink hair fascinated me probably from the time I started watching anime. :D
But sadly, my own hair is little bit darker and the only pink hairdye I can find here just isn´t strong enough to cover my roots. :(
I don´t want to bleach my roots every month and damage my hair even more every time and I don´t have the money to always go to a hair salon. Maybe I will try and find something that will lighten my hair...maybe there is something that is not peroxide based. Hopefully.

The photos were taken in our living room by my flatmate and photographer Mattphoto (and edit by me)
He´s specializing in taking photos of dogs and he´s really great at is. :) (and the funny thing is, that his artistic name is Matt Noir. And now that we live together, one of his friend told him, that we should name our flat "Noirs Lair :D)

Collective haul (April)

April is slowly ending and I most likely won´t buy anything this month. So why not make a haul post? :D
Aside from this thing I have some things that arrived from Aliexpress, but I decided to put them in another post and do for them a real review, with all the positives and negatives.

So, the first part iiiiis - thrifting. :D I love thrift shops. Probably 90% of my wardrobe consists from thrift clothing.

My newest find. I fell in love with this dress, but it´s like two/three sizes too big. But it does´t matter. I will find a way to make it fit me. :D

Chia seeds?

I started to eat more healthy for some time now…more fruits and vegetables, ale less junkfood. One time when I was shopping I found something called Chia seeds. They seem to be pretty healthy, full  of nutrients and so, so why not try it? Wasn´t that expensive.
I tried to took a really detailed photo, wasn´t that easy, but they look interesting. They are a tiny little seeds. I think they resemble a snake skin a little bit. :D
And they taste like…well, seeds maybe. :D But it´s not a bad taste, so you can eat them just like they are. Or you can look up some recipes on the internet.
I´m pretty curious, if eating this for a longer time will have some effect. I strugle with a bad skin and spots for almost three years (it started when I started working…the biggest issue is definitely stress) and I still didn´t find anything that would really help. So who knows…maybe this “superfood” will help at least a little. :D

Does anybody have some experience with these seeds?

Sunny autumn & White-haired demon (BTS)

For this photoshoot we went for a little trip. It was a very nice place.

The swing Igi made. To be honest, it wasn´t very comfortable. My butt hurt so much and I was always slipping down. :D

It was really cold, so Igi offered me his vest, so I can warm up a little bit between the photos. Not that I didn´t have my own coat, but it´t made of that "silkish" material from the inside, so when I put it on, I felt even colder then without it. :D

A small break for a little fun on the swing. :D

I don´t have hands! :O :D Just kidding. I was trying to warm my hands as well. The dress was short-sleeved.

High-heeled boots are the best...but definitely not for running in grass or stepping on trees. This is me, trying not to fall on my ass. :D

Cold, cold, cold, cooooold. :D But it was worth it!

The last picture. I still had Igis vest and my coat and even scarf. :D At least it was warmer under the wig. :D

"You would be so pretty if you would dress normally"

Ever heard this one? Well, me too, and somehow it´s really annoying.
Some people just don´t get it...

I remember once, when I wanted to win a bet, I had to dress "normally" for a week. It was so weird, I didn´t feel like myself, but so many people kept telling me, that I looked so pretty and nice as a "normal" person. And I was like WHAT?! 
It was not the only time I was told that if I wouldn´t dress so-and-so I would be so pretty.
Am I not pretty as a goth? Can only "normal" looking people be pretty?
Of course not!

I don´t understand why can´t some people just accept, that what´s pretty for them musn´t be pretty for another. I didn´t feel pretty without my black, without my collar, chains, fishnet and without black eyeshadow. It wasn´t me. And I was nervous and unsure. I felt like a poser, trying to be something I´m not. But they were so convinced that I would start to like that "normal" look and would stay that way. It was little bit funny, but at the same time, it was really annoying.
I remember, that when the week of dressing "normally" was over, I pulled out my blackest black and was so happy.
And people around me were like: "Oh, again in black?" You could see the disappointment in their faces.
Somehow I have to ask myself...do they think, that I would wear something in what I would feel ugly? Don´t they see, that I´m happier in what I love to wear?
But I´m lucky, because well, many of my friends are alternative, too. And from them I heard the words I wanted to hear: "You look better this way." :D

Now I´m quite happy to be working in a place, where colleagues accepted that I´m a weirdo. :D I can´t wear totally what I want, I still have to wear some working clothing, but I can at least wear the collars I love so much. :D

The best advice I can give you: "Always be yourself and wear what makes you feel pretty". ;)

White-haired demon (Photo)

These photos were taken in the same place and in the same time as the previous ones. Even the outfit is almost the same, I just switched the corset and the wig.
I bought this white wig while I was in England. I though it will be blond when I was ordering it, but in the end, I´m even happier with a white one.
The horns are from Hysteria Machine (also bought in England. I spend A LOT of money, while in England :D). They are great, but I can only wear them with a wig, because they are too heavy for my own hair.
I really like this photoset, one of my favourites. Working with Igi is always great and I like how the results look. All of the photoshoots I´ve had with him are part of my favourites. :)
Photo: Igi Petrilla

Sunny autumn (Photo)

In autumn, last year, I went for a little trip to Skároš (a small town near the city I live in) with Igi. It was really nice there with all the colors and fallen leaves.
We didn´t really have a plan, I just was in a mood for photoshoot and I had a new dress and corset. And my lovely Demonia boots.
Now I don´t even remember how we came out with the idea of a swing, but I´m glad we did and I think it looks quite good (and I really like the wig. The funny thing is, that it is just a cheap party wig :D). The weather was nice, sun was shining (mostly, but it was still really cold...reeeeeaaaally cold. :D).
Photo: Igi Petrilla

Stereotypes, streotypes everywhere

I have to say, I can understand why many of the goth stereotypes actually became stereotypes. And I somehow don´t really mind if someone think that this or that is goth. Like Halloween, vampires, bats and so. It´s mostly harmless, so nevermind.
But I really hate it, when people think we murder animals, or are all antisocial depressive psychopaths, who hate everything and everyone, or that we never laugh and that sort of stuff.
But going back to stereotypes, especially the ones, that apply to me...

- Black of course. I love black color. Having a job where I had to wear all white was just killing me and I used every chance to wear at least black pants. :D But I´m little bit happier now, because I´m on a different position and I have gray or dark green t-shirt, white coat and I don´t have to wear work pants anymore.
I wear black most the time, sometimes in combination with red, purple, white or gray, and for a long time I used to have black hair, too.

Outfit post

Sun is shining, throw away all the pants and jackets!
Ok, maybe not, it´s still quite cold here, but I was going for a little shoot near my home, so it wasn´t that bad.
The dress is from a thrift store (I actually mostly buy all my things either from thrift stores or from Aliexpress). It was a lucky buy, I didn´t even try it on, because I almost missed my bus, but it fits very nicely. There is a lace strap in the middle (but I had black top under the dress, so it´s not very visible) and the back is lace as well. Pentagram harness is from Aliexpress, and so are the gloves, necklace and the collar (yep, I really love buying from them :D).
I love stripes(!) and I love striped tights. These black and purple are from Mordhaus, a slovak alternative shop. I also have a black and red ones. I had leggings under, the tights themselves  aren´t very tick, but they will be great for hotter days. :)
And the shoes at last...I really like the shoes, I have them for like two years now. I bought them in H&M.

I won a giveaway! :O

For the first time I really won something. And well, not just something, but a gorgeous handmade bracelet.
Bloody Terry (also owner of  DDeluxsus) made a giveaway on her FB page not so long ago and I didn´t believe my eyes when I saw my name as the winner. I´m so happy, the bracelet is really cute and well made, with skull and roses. Can´t wait to wear it for some photoshoot. :3

Elegant (Photo)

It was last year when I first met Igi. I was going for some photos with his friend in the building Igi has his atelier. We ended up chatting a little bit and I showed him some of my photos.
Later that year, when I was looking for someone, who would make me some simple portraits with the jewelry I made, he wrote me.
So, we met one day, and the photoshoot went a little bit different, then planned, but I was actually happy about that, because the results were much better. This photoshoot still counts as one of my most favourite. ♥
Photo: Igi Petrilla

Chilling at home & Light and Dark (BTS)

Here are some other photos from the home-shoot with Vladimir. 
You can see how the photos came out [HERE] or on my FB page.

Tireeeeed. :D And it was quite hot under the wig. :D

We wanted to try adding a bottle as a prop. I don´t drink alcohol, but I definitely look drunk on this photo. :D

Chilling at home & Light and Dark (Photo)

I had an idea that I wanted to try out, but the weather wasn´t that great. That´s why we decided to stay at home (well, not at my home, Vladimirs home :D) and just try how it would go.
And after just standing there and pressing the button (the camera was on a tripod so there wasn´t much to do for him :D) we just started to improvise.
It´s always great to meet up with Vlado, he´s a great guy and we always have fun. :)
All of the "girls" on these photos are me. :)
Photo: Vladimir Horniak
Edit: Me

Everybody has a lighter and darker side in them.

  

Me, myself and my other self. :D

Blood Bath (BTS)

What I love about shooting with friends is, that there is a chance I get all the photos. Mostly because I love editing them, and on the other side, it´s also fun to have some "behind the scenes and bloopers" photos.

You can see how the photos came out [HERE] or on my FB page.

Preparing. It wasn´t that easy shooting in such a small place. :D

And to be honest, it definitely wasn´t very comfortable, either. :D

 If you watch closely, you can see on the photo above, how my hair started to dye the water. We didn´t notice until a while later, when the water was already red. First I though it was from the dress, but no...it was the hair. But I think, it made the result much more interesting, than a normal water.

The water is quite red now. :D

A little finishing touch. I tried really hard not to fall out from the bath. :D

Blood bath (photos)

I was going through my photos and I decided to share some of the older "photoshoots", not just the recent ones. Aaaand, I found lots of "behind the scenes" photos as well. Could be fun sharing them, too.
This one came out quite random, wasn´t intentional, but at the end we went with the flow and made it into kinda "vampiric blooth-bath" theme. :D
Photos were taken by my friend and hobby photographer Vladimir Horniak.

Aside this one, all of the photos here are edited by me. I really love editing photos. :D